Correlation between mental health issues and going down the alien rabbit hole

I first saw an orb flying next to the wing of a plane I was in at the lowest point in my life. When I thought about taking a photo I felt anxious that if I did something bad might happen to the plane. I decided to ignore it and not look at it. At the time I thought maybe this is a sign to make a change in my life to get myself out of this low. For me this was to only ever do things for purpose in life rather than money. As my desperation to keep up with cost of living caused me to lose my life savings on crypto. At the time I’d never looked into aliens and had just thought I’d was tinfoil stuff. Even after this I forgot about the event for about 12 months until I saw the Grusxh interview. I was compelled to dive into for some strange reason and went down a rabbit hole for months.

I genuinely believe it came into my life and is controlling me to look into this subject matter. This topic is a o far from anything I would have previously bothered reading about. For what reason it came into my life I don’t know. Initially I thought maybe it was here to give me a sign to help me. But now everything I read seems to say they’re feeding off negative energy. Given my mood this last year they must have been feasting.

Anyway, I’m uncertain whether it’s a good or bad thing to be engaging with this topic or not. Would be interested to know the mental health of others who’ve gone down the rabbit hole. Did you get into the subject during a depressive time or after suffering a traumatic experience or loss. The only other people I’ve know in my life who s talked about aliens did so during periods of unemployment and depression.