Would someone please hold my hand while I go down the rabbit hole.

I have been on this sub for about 12mths now. I wanted to find out about the tic tac video which led me to this sub.Then Grusch Fravor and Graves give testimony to congress. I am blown away by all of there testimony but still sceptical. Then I come across Dr Jacobs who seems as honest as the previous trio. Then I watch the footage from the border patrol in Puerto Rico and if that craft isn’t lensing gravity then I don’t know how else to explain it. So if I believe that craft is using Alcubierre warping to move and the US have recovered craft , and there is some missing link in physics that allows you to suspend the higgs field that we haven’t worked out yet.The logical assessment is that there are aliens on this planet.Then why wouldn’t I believe Boyd Bushman has anyone investigated his claim that 19 people were killed while trying to access a recovered craft. Please help.I think I am loosing it.